{"id":9190,"date":"2021-05-19T15:09:33","date_gmt":"2021-05-19T22:09:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mindfulstate.com\/?p=9190"},"modified":"2021-12-03T19:44:48","modified_gmt":"2021-12-04T03:44:48","slug":"we-can-turn-the-tables-and-make-you-the-boss-of-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianselfdesign.com\/amindfulstate\/we-can-turn-the-tables-and-make-you-the-boss-of-it","title":{"rendered":"We can turn the tables and make you the boss of it.<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"

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KIRA M. \u00a0| \u00a0CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST<\/p>\n

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Tools to control your anxiety<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” background_image=”http:\/\/s867628620.onlinehome.us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/PROFILE-PIC-2-TONE-BACKGROUND-3.1.jpg” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][et_pb_row custom_padding_last_edited=”on|tablet” _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#eae9e4″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”0px||170px||false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”||80px||false|false” custom_padding_phone=”||30px||false|false” custom_padding__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_5,3_5,1_5″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” width=”100%” custom_margin=”-250px||0px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”-210px||||false|false” custom_margin_phone=”-110px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|tablet” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_margin__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][et_pb_column type=”1_5″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_5″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_video src=”https:\/\/brianselfdesign.com\/amindfulstate\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/KM_Tools-to-control-anxiety.mp4″ image_src=”https:\/\/brianselfdesign.com\/amindfulstate\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/kira-m-video-1.jpg” thumbnail_overlay_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.4)” _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”30px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ title_text=”Kira M Video 1″ alt=”Kira M Video 1″ sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_video][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_5″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_5,3_5,1_5″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_5″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_5″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” text_font_size=”28px” text_line_height=”42px” custom_margin=”30px||0px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”0px||||false|false” custom_margin_phone=”0px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|tablet” custom_padding=”0px||10px|10px|false|false” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”18px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” text_line_height_tablet=”” text_line_height_phone=”32px” text_line_height_last_edited=”on|phone” border_width_left=”2px” border_color_left=”#2d94e3″]<\/p>\n

Meet Kira M.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

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The first thing is to recognize that anxiety is not something like the weather that happens to you from the outside. Anxiety is something that your body comes up with on the inside because it doesn’t understand what’s going on. So the first step in managing anxiety is to recognize that you can learn, you can teach yourself how to control it.<\/p>\n

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You’re the boss of it.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px|10px|false|false” border_width_left=”2px” border_color_left=”#2d94e3″]<\/p>\n

Even though it has felt like, maybe for years, that it’s the boss of you, we’re going to turn the tables and we’re going to make you the boss of it. And there’s lots of ways you can do that. But that’s the first mental step.<\/p>\n

The first mental step
<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you want to own this thing, you want to shut it down and tell it \u201cI don\u2019t have time for this.\u201d That\u2019s what we\u2019re going to start with. So that mental control component is big. My colleagues who work with younger kids have similar strategies, but they don\u2019t express it in the same way because you can\u2019t talk to a six-year-old like I just explained that. But that\u2019s a big piece of it, you being the boss \u2014 \u201cI don\u2019t have time for this. I\u2019m not going to let this control my day\u201d \u2014 starting with that.<\/p>\n

And if you believe that\u2019s possible that you can control it, you\u2019re going to be right. If you believe you can\u2019t, you\u2019re also going to be right. So that sense of belief is a really big deal.<\/p>\n

The second mental step
<\/strong>The second part is working on controlling your body\u2019s reaction and not letting it go into fight or flight. So I tell my teenagers, I\u2019ll give you 20 bucks if you can have a panic attack and do deep breathing at the same time. It\u2019s not possible. Your body will not let you do it.<\/p>\n

And there’s a reason for that because slow, deep breaths keep your parasympathetic system in charge and your sympathetic nervous system is the fight or flight thing where you just get kind of panicky and sweaty and shallow breathing and you just want to run or hide or whatever.<\/p>\n

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You have to teach your brain a new way.
<\/strong><\/em>But it’s possible.<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n

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You have to teach your body that it doesn\u2019t need to go into panic mode because there\u2019s no bear to run from or fight. That\u2019s a matter of practice. And you have to recognize when that\u2019s starting to happen and then become the boss and shut it down. So it starts with mental stuff. And then you learn how to control the breathing, regulate your heart rate a little bit, and that\u2019s practice. You have to teach your brain a new way. But it\u2019s possible. That\u2019s something that I think even really smaller kids have the capacity to
learn and do.<\/p>\n

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Related Content:<\/p>\n

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Expert<\/strong> Story<\/p>\n

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Personal<\/strong>\u00a0Story<\/p>\n

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Well-being<\/strong>\u00a0Resource<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][dpdfg_filtergrid custom_query=”advanced” use_taxonomy_terms=”on” multiple_taxonomies=”post_tag” taxonomies_relation=”AND” include_terms=”152″ include_children_terms=”off” post_number=”1″ order=”ASC” thumbnail_action=”none” thumbnail_size=”dfg_full” use_overlay=”off” show_post_meta=”off” read_more_window=”on” show_custom_fields=”on” custom_fields=”%91{%22name%22:%22more_link%22,%22label%22:%22Visit: %22}%93″ custom_content_container=”off” show_filters=”off” show_pagination=”off” items_layout=”dp-dfg-layout-none” _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” dpdfg_entry_title_font=”Source Sans Pro||on||||||” dpdfg_entry_title_font_size=”14px” dpdfg_entry_cf_label_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” dpdfg_entry_cf_value_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” dpdfg_entry_cf_value_text_color=”#000000″ dpdfg_entry_custom_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” dpdfg_entry_custom_text_color=”#000000″ action_button_alignment=”left” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_css_entry-cf=”margin-top: -17px;” border_style_all=”none”][\/dpdfg_filtergrid][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ custom_padding_last_edited=”on|desktop” _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#eae9e4″ custom_margin=”30px||0px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”0px||||false|false” custom_margin_phone=”-30px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|tablet” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”0px||||false|false” custom_padding_phone=”0px||||false|false” custom_margin__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_3,1_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|tablet” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Source Sans 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max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/brianselfdesign.com\/amindfulstate\/we-can-turn-the-tables-and-make-you-the-boss-of-it\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"We can turn the tables and make you the boss of it. - A Mindful State\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ custom_padding_last_edited=”on|desktop” _builder_version=”4.9.3″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#eae9e4″ custom_margin=”30px||0px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”0px||||false|false” custom_margin_phone=”-30px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|tablet” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”0px||||false|false” custom_padding_phone=”0px||||false|false” custom_margin__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_3,1_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.9.3″ 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